Where She Still Lives.
Grief, memory, and the quiet places my mother left behind.
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The five stages of grief, also known as the Kübler-Ross model, outline the emotional journey people often go through when experiencing loss—especially the death of a loved one. But grief isn’t exclusive to death. Loss is loss. Whether it’s the end of a friendship, a relationship, or the loss of a sense of self—grief finds…
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I’ve been thinking a lot about bravery—what it actually means to be brave. Is it trying something new even when you’re scared? Even when the outcome is uncertain? Is it standing up for yourself, or for the people you love? Is it just surviving something hard? My mom was one of the bravest people I’ve…
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A panic attack, by definition, is “a sudden episode of intense fear or anxiety and physical symptoms, based on a perceived threat rather than imminent danger.” It’s not wrong, but it’s incomplete. For those of us who live with them, panic attacks feel deeply personal—custom-tailored to amplify our worst fears. Sometimes those fears are buried…
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What Would I Do Without My Friends? Honestly, I don’t know—and I don’t like to think about it. Friendship has always been essential to me. Not optional. Not a luxury. Absolutely essential. If you know me, you know I like most people. I’m friendly, curious, and will strike up a conversation with just about anyone—my…
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Tears don’t come easily to me. When I was little, I was taught to hold them in. “Oh, don’t cry, honey,” or just “Stop crying”—as if crying weren’t okay. A tear or two might be tolerated, but anything more had to be wiped away quickly. My mother didn’t cry much either. She kept her past…
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The other day at a family gathering, I asked my cousin’s boyfriend how he was doing. His answer caught me off guard with its quiet honesty. He’d just come through a heavy part of the year—an emotional rollercoaster he can’t seem to avoid. For him, the end of June and the month of July aren’t…
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Before our trip to Seattle to visit my brothers, my son asked me out of the blue:“What was Grandma’s dying wish?” The truth is, my mom’s death came so suddenly that there was no time for last words or final requests. No deep conversations, no plans, no journals, no instructions. She wasn’t the type to…
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When you’re grieving, people don’t always show up the way you expect them to—but that doesn’t mean they’re not showing up. Grief is strange like that. It blurs the lines between presence and absence, between words and silence. Sometimes, what people say or do—no matter how small, awkward, or even bizarre—is simply an act of…
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Grief is interesting. When we lose someone—through death, divorce, the end of a friendship, or any profound shift that life gives us—we often know that grief is coming. We brace for it. But the truth is, we never know how or where it will find us. And it will find us. For some, grief is…
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When my mother passed away, she didn’t leave behind a dramatic will or family heirlooms. Just a few boxes—and Emily. “Emmy,” as my mom affectionately called her, wasn’t her whole world. We were. But Emmy held a special place. She was my mom’s constant companion, her comfort, and her emotional anchor. She entrusted her to…
Where She Still Lives. 